It’s summer. Summer is by far my favorite season. And, as a teacher, I get a little extra free time in the summer, too! Last summer was great. I did the cupcake challenge, I did Weight-watchers and lost weight, I had a summer fling, it was awesome. But then I started a brand new teaching job at a brand new school and felt the need to impress and was working all the time.
Then a few months later, my dad got sick. He was in the hospital for 3 months, and suddenly I found myself going to school, teaching all day, and then going to the hospital and breathing the heavy breaths that you breathe when a close loved-one is doing poorly and not getting better like you hope. I found myself eating for convenience. I definitely stopped grocery shopping and started eating junk food. Highly-processed, sodium-ridden, high fat, high calorie nonsense was crossing my lips in quantities far too large for my petite stature. Just as I started trying to get it under control, my father passed away. Now, this isn’t a “Oh, woe-is-me, pity me!” statement. It’s simply a fact that sometimes, shit happens. And when it does, sometimes we lose control of ourselves. So the result was that I spent the next couple of months just trying to get through the remaining school year after basically losing 4 months by not being at my best. So, again, food choices went to the back burner.
This specially awful equation resulted in me gaining 15 lbs. (Please keep in mind that I’m very petite, and that 15 lbs is a little less than 15% of what a healthy body weight is for my size.) I kept trying to make good choices, but it was very difficult. The doctor even tested me for a thyroid problem, because they were concerned, too. But, no dice.
Now, I need to get myself under control! I went to a wedding this weekend of a high school friend, and seeing all these old high school acquaintances made me feel pretty crappy. They all looked great, most of them are married or engaged, and I was overweight and single. It all added up to a weekend full of low self-esteem.
So, what’s the problem, Ruth? Just lose the weight already! Yeah, the problem is motivation. I need to be held accountable for my choices – both good and bad. So it occurred to me that doing this is a public forum like this would give me some sense of accountability. I give myself to you, interwebs, to keep me on track and working hard!